September 30, 2015

Alcohol, energy, and agitation

Today I returned to my serious worrying about my drinking.  What effect is it having on me?  I realize it's really stupid given all the medication I'm on.  But ever since my brother died it's become more and more of a habit, drinking probably 5 nights a week.

This is what happened last few days
    Saturday - drank
    Sunday - felt OK, didn't drink
    Monday - felt very down, hard to concentrate, didn't drink
    Tuesday - felt very down, hard to concentrate, drank
    Wednesday - feel better, little easier to concentrate

Even someone with no mental illness and not taking any 'crazy' drugs, if they drank like me, it would probably start to affect their moods.  What if not drinking makes me more agitated because my body has grown dependent on it?  What if I need to drink to feel better the next day?  

Today I have still had problems concentrating and staying on task.  Some real agitation and anxiety are breaking through.  It sometimes feels hard to take a full breath, like I'm forgetting to breathe.

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