So I couldn't take it today. It has been a long time since I saw my counselor. Given recent difficulties I had made an appointment. As silly as it sounds, it was because I did not make my next appointment back in April. Without that future appointment, I just don't call back.
I was supposed to show up at 9:00 AM. Twenty minutes later and I'm still in the waiting room. I told the receptionist it was ridiculous and I was out of there. He called immediately later to apologize and the call went really well. I had been letting it build up for some time. Our appointments typically started at fifteen after. That's fifteen minutes I'm missing from work for which I am not getting any counseling. His schedule seems to have become start at fifteen after, meet with client until the hour, spend fifteen minutes writing notes. He was very gracious on the phone and hoped it would not cause an end to things.
I also explained to him something I was told in the hospital which I think might be helpful. If you are a very passive person like me and try to become more assertive, you frequently end up overshooting assertive and end up angry. So that is what happened to me this morning I think. But as potentially damaging and embarrassing as that may be, I still think it's worth it and see it as a positive move in the right direction.
OK, well I really must get back to work. The images above don't really apply anymore because I'm no longer angry. But they are public domain and I think it's kinda funny. Fuck you Freud. LOL