March 28, 2016

Racing thoughts, no work done

Almost seem to be cycling these last three days.
Saturday I was extremely irritable. I felt miserable. Had no patience for kids or Mary. I know it was terrible to be around me. I was just so low. No energy.  We went out to a restaurant and Phillip screamed multiple times. It was so stressful. Then we drove around to look at other landscaping in the neighborhood.

The imminent landscaping we are doing is going to be very expensive which is a stress in itself.  There are so many decisions to make as to which plants etc. When we got home I just collapsed on the couch and drifted off.
Sunday we cleaned house almost all day to get ready for company. I was energetic and exuberant. I took Phillip to the grocery store all by myself, which requires an unusual amount of gumption and confidence.
Today I was back to work after only a two day work week. I got nothing done. Literally nothing. I was on my phone a bunch, did laundry, took a lunch nap, and read a bunch of blogs. I couldn't focus even on activities that weren't work. My mind was going too fast. And of course getting nothing done at work led to terrible anxiety and guilt. Which led to more procrastination. Rinse and repeat.
What's going on? I'm not sure. Probably relevant that I got five hours of sleep three nights in a row. And that I forgot to take my meds on Saturday. I hardly ever forget. Like once every two months.
My advice to myself: don't get too stressed out about the past. Tomorrow could be very productive and balanced. Today doesn't mean that tomorrow has to be any certain way.

Image credit: Wikipedia

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