Thursday, March 2, 2017

Code monkey trap

Work stress is nearly unbearable right now.  Deadlines are speeding toward me.  I am juggling two different projects both with imminent due dates.  I am the more or less the sole person responsible for the success or failure of the projects.  If something goes wrong it will be my ass on the line.

It's not surprising I am not handling the stress well.  To try to make these deadlines I am working from 8 pm to 11 pm every night this week.  It doesn't look like it's going to be enough.  What's worse is that after 11 pm I feel deprived of having any time to myself so I've been staying up until 1 am.  And to get Curly Jones on the bus, I've got to get up at 6:10.  The ultimate trap is that during the day when I should be busting it out at work... I'm

  • Exhausted
  • Emotionally fragile from the sleep deprivation
  • Dejected about working last night
  • Pissed that I will work that night
  • Freaked out about how I'm not getting enough done

So what is the result of all that?  I am unfocused.  I am not productive.  On two days I've even walked away for two hours.  And there's the trap.  An unproductive day necessitates working that night.  The stress, exhaustion, resentment build.  The productivity drops.  The distance between Mary and I widens.

Fuck.

Image credit: bear trap




2 comments:

  1. Sounds like a recipe for disaster. I used to be a workaholic until I ended up hospitalized. Not worth it for me. Hope you can find a healthy balance.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for your comment. Work finally let up and I got some balance back.

    ReplyDelete